Cops Say "Aliens" Attacking Amazonian Village Are Men With Jetpacks

Futurism

Cops Say “Aliens” Attacking Amazonian Village Are Men With Jetpacks

Sharon Adarlo

Tue, August 15, 2023 at 1:57 PM CDT·2 min read

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Jet Set

Picture this: somebody has attacked an isolated indigenous village in rural Peru and tried to kidnap a 15-year-old girl. Locals claim it was aliens, as in little green men. But government officials investigating the strange incident say it’s actually… drum roll… illegal miners on jetpacks.

It sounds like a game of Mad Libs gone awry, but this is an actual saga that’s been unfolding since July in the Amazon in Northern Peru, according to Spanish-language news outfit RPP Noticias.

Members of the Ikitu, an indigenous tribe, claim they’ve been beset by strange, levitating figures that are more than six feet in height and appear to easily deflect their weapons.

“These gentlemen are aliens,” local leader Jairo Reátegui Ávila told the outlet. “They seem armored like the Green Goblin from Spider-Man. I have shot him twice and he does not fall, but rises and disappears. We are frightened by what is happening in the community,”

After the locals called for police protection, law enforcement investigators descended on the isolated area and concluded in Early August that it was in fact illegal miners using “high-tech equipment” — jet packs, which they say were intended to intimidate the locals — according to a followup report from RPP Noticias.

Really Though

The reality is that jetpacks are wildly loud, expensive, and impractical — oh, and they’re incredible fuel hogs as well. We’ve never heard of them being used in legal mining operations, nevermind an illegal one.

And yet eyewitnesses insist they saw something. The jetpack story becomes more plausible when you read the eyewitness accounts of a teacher who saw the “aliens” try to kidnap a teenager on July 29.

“They would be using state-of-the-art technology, such as the thrusters that allow people to fly,” local teacher Cristian Caleb Pacaya told *RPP Noticias. “*In this case too, according to Google, they are called ‘jetpacks’ (jetpacks). We have investigated that these gentlemen would be using this suit to reach those places.”

It is true that the area attracts miners intent on extracting gold and other resources illegally, often resulting in terrible environmental damage and even violence. Is it theoretically possible they’re using jetpacks? Sure. But it seems unlikely.

No matter the explanation, though, these incidents in the jungle — sounds like 1987’s “Predator,” right? — are sure to fuel even more speculation during a year when alien conspiracy theories have made the mainstream.

Regarding the Peru Aliens Here is the EXACT photo that the news report is making it look like the local took a photo- turns out to be from a French pilot/stunt man named Franky Zapata, traveling the English channel on a stunt in 2019 https://lunion.fr/id84579/article/2019-08-04/videos-franky-zapata-reussit-son-pari-de-traverser-la-manche-sur-son-flyboard

I’m working on a new supervillain for the MCU. His name is Jetpack Miner. He is 7 ft tall and can fly silently through the dense jungle in the dark of night. He is also completely bulletproof and can disappear right in front of your eyes. (More ability suggestions are welcomed in the comments.)

This is one of the most absurd and blatant cover-ups I’ve ever seen. They crafted a preposterous story that would satisfy the details of the incident and then paid the villagers to affirm it. Mamma didn’t raise no fool. #ufotwitter #uaptwitter #UFOs #UAPs

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@ColonelZ Thank you!

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