Dealing with loss of a loved animal

[ShadowNet]

I wasn’t sure if it was appropriate to post about this or not. I am certainly not looking for emotional support although I know you good folks always give that. I guess I was more wanting to share in the moment how grief is a strange visitor and how we deal with this emotion when it inevitably arrives.

So my friend Wushka (my cat) has been extremely ill and I spent last few weeks trying to get her better on all sorts of meds despite the vet not being too hopeful. In the end she would not eat and for a week and was in a very bad way.

I was having to face taking her to be put to sleep when one morning she was gone. She must have just left the house and has not returned.

I am kind of proud of her as I think she took matters into her own hands and decided for herself how she wanted to bring her life to a close.

I am struggling a bit, there is a part of me that feels like I should have kept her in and all that but also a realisation that you shouldn’t stand against the natural order of things.

I know some may not hold animals in the same regard as humans but the grief process can be very similar, its hitting me now after around 3 days of looking for her and beginning to clear away her things.

We all recover eventually but life is so full of distractions we sometimes miss those amazing moments when they are right in front of us. She was such a cool cat. Good memories of us together will help.

Thanks for listening, hope it was not too much of a downer.

[nperpetuity]

@ShadowNet
i’m so sorry for your loss. You sound like a wonderful cat person and I think you are in good company. I’m relieved that there are many here who adore our animal friends and have been so fortunate to have them in our lives. I just had to put down my sweet friend of 18 1/2 years, my beloved and intrepid Zoe. There was nothing left of her sweet furry body and I made an appointment but then she had a slight rally for a couple of days so I cancelled the appointment. But then she took a severe turn for the worse and by the way she talked with me, there was no doubt she wanted to go. I fought it even then but knew I was going to have to. It’s been 3 weeks and I still miss her in my bed and am gentle about getting up so that I don’t disturb her. I expect her to be underfoot and am careful where I walk so I don’t hurt her. Your sweet kitty took it upon herself knowing that you loved her so much. Cheers to you and all of us who have had the privilege of having the love of these angelic creatures to show us what unconditional love is all about.

[ShadowNet]

Thank you @nperpetuity. Wushka was also 18, she had a good innings and was very loved.

[undine]

It is a very painful business, I feel for you. You want to do the best thing, but its not always easy to know what to do. Sometimes its clear cut and putting a loved pet out of pain is the only option. Waiting for nature to take its course can be harder. You did your best, all you can do now is be consoled that Wushka is at rest. She will live on in your heart. The fond memories of the love you shared will lessen the sorrow.

Sorry for the woolly reply; I’ve just been comforting my daughter, her wonderful husband died suddenly a few months ago. All we can to is be thankful for the joy and the love we had.

[ShadowNet]

Very true, and yes great memories of us over the years can be hard to think about without getting upset but also make me smile.

Of course so much human suffering going on in the world, you have to have perspective. I don’t want to think too deeply about things but it’s such a strange thing we go through losing a loved one.

Is it necessary if we are just a species that perpetuates like may flies? I can’t see the biological evolutionary advantage of grief.

So makes me believe there is a purpose to experiencing these emotions.

[neru]

Very recognizable story since my cat did the same. When I thought to take her to the vet to end it, she disappeared. I did get a phone from a neighbor a week later when he found her dead body.

I had many housepets during my lifetime from dogs and cats but it is always hard when that unavoidable time comes.

I usually need some time to grieve and haven’t had a dog since my last pooch. Cats is a different matter since they decide just to move in. I simply don’t understand, it seems many people regard cats as disposable material these days.

I remember all my kids, but my last pooch, I don’t seem to get rid of missing her, despite she has been gone for years now.

Sorry for your loss and take your time to grieve.

[justawhoaman]

My cat that had been ill for a very long time did EXACTLY the same thing. We also had a favorite Great Pyrenees that got very ill suddenly and crawled off to die away from everyone (it took us several hours to scour his field before finding him). They just seem to know that crossing over rainbow bridge is their time to leave you behind.

With the number of animals I have, I still find it tough to lose any one of them. Condolences.

[Sal2lee]

I’m so sorry for your loss of your beloved kitty. I’ve also heard and experienced that they will go off to pass peacefully on their own. It will be strange, sad & solemn for a while like a piece of you is gone. Grief is a strange visitor and sometimes we experience certain emotions for the first time.

@ShadowNet Again I am so sorry for your loss.

[David8pies]

I had the same situation with my cat “Brian”- He turned up (all of our cats just turned up)- and stayed for 12 years…He became ill, stopped eating,- it put me through the Wringer… then one day he had a large meal and promptly disappeared… Funny though, as he went out of the cat flap I knew he wasn’t coming back… I imagine he did that stoic cat thing…found somewhere quiet, comfortable and private…and -“Sayonara”…

[ShadowNet]

Beautiful face, they are all characters.

[sunnyboy]

@ShadowNet, and everyone else who has lost a dear, dear animal Friend (regardless of species):

We feel for your loss and pain, as we, too, have had cats who have brought immense joy and teachings to our lives, and know the pain when they become ill and leave this earth. There used to be a time when we trusted our institutions (that era of trust is now behind us), and so when they were hopelessly ill and suffering, we had a vet come to the house to “put them down”. We don’t think we could work with most conventional vets anymore after we now know what that whole industry is about (unless for dire circumstances like broken leg, etc.) Similarly, we no longer visit medical doctors (unless there will be something dire, a car accident, or something).

We somehow feel that your cat did the right thing, in choosing her own exit, and you are right in feeling proud of (and grateful to) her. The human euthanization program in Canada got us thinking more than ever about whether we really do have any right to choose how another being will die, and can they be left to die on their own terms, through their own choices? This is a complex philosophical question, as no one likes to see someone suffering (regardless of species). Your cat knew what she was doing, and you will never have to face the agony (as did I) about knowing whether you did the right thing in getting a vet to end her life with poison, as your cat was the one who did the right thing.

I have never stopped grieving for the beautiful dear cats who lived with us.

My sincerest condolences to you, and to all the others on this thread, who have lost dear animal friends. I regard all animals, regardless of species, as being divine and sacred beings. Each one is unique and special, and offers profound teachings for those who choose connect with their intelligence in higher realms.

[ShadowNet]

I really appreciate you all in this community, I knew you would get where I was coming from. She really was a buddy of mine, used to come and sit with me when I would play my guitar and she loved music. They are sentient incredibly emotional souls. Life can be hard sometimes, but she helped me keep going.

[Bahri]

[ShadowNet]

That is a great photo!

[Bahri]

I saw a cat just like this yesterday I had never seen before lurking around my backyard!

[yyyyythats6ys]

I’m sorry for your loss. I lost my dog Lucky (he also went by the names Moo, Moo Bear and Fatty) over 10 years ago, and I still can’t talk about him without getting teary eyed. But I’m grateful for Lucky and I know he too is part of God’s plan and also part of God’s plan for me. You are in my prayers, and you are not alone.

[catsmeow23]

Yes, we still love and miss them. I saw a chocolate & a blond Labrador the other day with a couple, and immediately thought of my dead husband’s dogs Cafe & Clint. I still miss my last kitty, who’s living her best life with a lovely younger family, and remember the kind elderly vet who put down our last Lab, Stormy, respectfully. Yes, I had an earlier cat who took himself off to cross the Rainbow Bridge.
And I loved an Irish medium telling me my husband and his doggers were rambling “beyond the fields we know.”

[brendan2508]

Any cat owner would agree with the following saying: “Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.”

[neru]

@brendan2508
You made my day and boy are you right!

[ShadowNet]

Here is one of Wushka back in March, we had just moved and she already claimed her spot ready for the first round of smoked salmon room service!